I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
