I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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