we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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