Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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