that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
