pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
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yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
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It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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