We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
