we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
