OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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