Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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