Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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