Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
