we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize