He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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