My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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