Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
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I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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