Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe