literally had 100 drinks last night.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.