I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?