i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
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wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.