As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies