Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
