this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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