Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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