Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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