is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
