Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
