Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im holly from the hills drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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