what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
