Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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