I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
