Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
