i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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