yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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