We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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