i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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