how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
