He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
