The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Randomize
