Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
