Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Never underestimate the power of titties
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
