so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
