remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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