fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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