Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
