Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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