How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
