I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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