If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
