I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
