I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize