i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
how does that bad decision feel?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
