Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
