im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just forgot I was standing up.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
