I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize