I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
