Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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