dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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