trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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