is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
