i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
