I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize