what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
