I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
