was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
