Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
