we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize