is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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