Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize