I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
