It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
