so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
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Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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